Banana anybody?

The rugby club were playing up in the north of France on Saturday. DH, who plans the next meal as he's eating the current meal, realised a couple of days before that Dear Son (16) and Dear Son (14) would have to eat their lunch at 11 am, travel on the coach for a couple of hours, then play rugby at 4pm without having anything further to eat. Didn't occur to me, does that mean I'm an unfit mother?

Anyway, he had the bright idea that what was needed was a snack lunch for the whole club before they went onto the pitch. Off he went to the supermarket and bought 50 bananas and 50 cereal bars. What he didn't anticipate, however, was that once they got to the north of France, the group divided up and half the team left the bus to be taken to another rugby ground. We now have dozens of bananas, all going over-ripe and with the best will in the world, we can't seem to eat them faster than they're turning black. I mean, I quite like bananas, but this too much for me. At least the cereal bars will keep till we get back from hols (bring it on!).

A lesson learned? Don't think so!

Oh next week we're off to sunny Spain!

Well, it had better be sunny! We're off on our jollies down to see DH's family in Spain. This time next week we'll be kipping in the Hotel Alize at Lerma and eating an inch thick raw steak (they're worse in Spain than in France for undercooked meat!) I'll stick to the fish dish then!

You can tell we must be due to go off on our hols, me and Dear Son (14) both have sore throats which seems to be an annual event. To cheer us up, here are some of the things we're looking forward to most, in no particular order:

going to the beach where the kids swim out in clear blue water to an island about 200 yards away, just because they can. There's a restaurant at this beach too for the grown ups.

The tapas bar in Cartagena where they do something clever with an ice cold green apple and some foie gras (yum).

Fish and chips in Watts Frying on the La Manga strip - to die for!

Seeing family and all the English people who live down there in Los Nietos who have become friends since we started going there 5 years ago.

Real pork and beef sausages at the English butchers in Cablo de Palos.

Hopefully a bit of sunshine, but since the clocks go back next weekend, it will only be for a short time in the middle of the day, if at all.

NOT BEING HERE!

That's about all I can think of for now, bring it on! Gotta go, Corries back on now!

I'm so excited!

I just had my first article published on the internet! Here is the link, I hope you can make it work, I couldn't. By the way, who exactly is Solitaire! Anyway I recognise it so I know it's mine.

The trip to the DOLE office went well enough last Friday - once we'd found the place. Apparently it only moved a week ago and everybody we asked only knew where the old office was. That explained why the GPS didn't recognise the address. Hey-ho. Thankfully they didn't send me out of there with a list of potential employers wanting to interview me, but I do have to go to a "back to work" workshop in a week or so where they'll teach me how to write a CV - ha! You don't have to sign on any more either, just go on line and tick a few boxes. The age of technology, I remember the last time I went on the dole as a sixteen year old school leaver you had to sign a bit of paper in front of a right snotty cow after having queued all morning then a cheque for £16 came through the door the following Friday. How times have changed!

Next door gave Dear Son (14) a pair of hamsters. Two days later, one had given birth and now we have 9. Does anybody want a hamster? When will we learn not to trust the French? One new cage later 25 euros (we had to separate them!) and DS now knows that there's no such thing as a free hamster - he paid! They are cute though (scratch that, never show weakness!)

The bank have agreed in principle to extend the mortgage so we won't be evicted yet. Best I can do for good news I'm afraid. We lost the sunshine for a few days, but it's back with a vengeance now, what with that and the hot flushes, I'm never at the right temperature! We won't go there.

That's it I think, more later if I think of anything I missed!

Wish me luck - I'll need it

I've been made redundant! Don't worry, it's just a paper exercise, I'm fully employed and more, but it costs too much for DH to employ me in the French system, so I've been sacked! In a little over half an hour, I'm off to Pole-Emploi in Saintes (the French equivalent of the DOLE office) to register as unemployed. I'll only get a pittance, but it means DH doesn't have to pay OVER 600 euros a month to the government for me insurance, pensions etc. This interview is to discuss my situation (in French). That'll be interesting .... I'll let you know how I get on.

As part of my job search, I'm registered with an internet freelancer site called Get a Freelancer (original). I've been invited to quote for a job on there this morning, translating English porn videos into French! That it should come to this. They say that they're not that interested in the level of grammar - I'll bet! I don't imagine there'll be much dialogue, but they want the action described in French. What was the real insult was that they're only prepared to pay less than $1 per 45 minute video translated. I don't think I'll bother. Dole office, here I come!

Let us pray

I often think that there's enough material here to keep six blogs going, but then a lot of it is probably quite boring if you're not personally involved in it. However, I couldn't resist sending you the latest development in the non-sale of the gites.

We at this very moment have a very nice couple from Cork in Ireland staying with us. Their names are Michael and Mary and they are both chefs, she in particular is a pastry chef. They came to see the gites through an estate agent with a view to buying them earlier this year. They (like many before them) decided there and then that this was what they had been looking for to establish their long held dream of a cookery school. They cancelled all their other appointments, then went home to Cork and arranged a euro loan on some rental properties that they have in Dublin. So far, so good, so you know that there's going to be a 'but' and here it is...

Mary's father has never got over the recent death of her mother and has been going to rack and ruin ever since. The minute they got the loan agreed in principle from the bank, he went into a steep decline and ever since he's been in a hospice, weaker by the day and they're just waiting for him to be taken so they can get on with their dream cookery school.

Is God trying to tell me something? It does seem a bit harsh that somebody has to die in order to sell the gites and move on with my/our lives. I don't mean to be cruel to the old boy, but could he please get on with it? I don't want it to be painful, just quick! The banks will be on our backs any day now, and you have to admit it sounds like a pretty lame story to pass on to them. They'd laugh us out of the place. Now let us pray....

Died and gone to heaven

We have waited all summer for a bunch of holidaymakers like the ones we have here at the moment! Happy smiling faces wherever you go. Children laughing and playing nicely without wrecking the place. The wine tasting last night was well attended and everybody was listening at the appropriate moments (you know how important that is to DH) whilst chatting pleasantly in between times. The three or four teenage girls organised themselves to babysit the younger ones although they only met one another on Saturday. It's now Tuesday and we've suffered no abuse whatsoever. After cancelling the last few barbecue nights due to total lack of interest, we're now already taking orders for this Thursday night, and it looks like even the vegetarians are coming and at least four have already ordered the leg of lamb to be cooked specially for them. This feels like the old days and I feel like I've died and gone to heaven! Now why isn't it always like this?

A Night on the Tiles

Last night, our dear friends, Kevin and Sheila invited us to a birthday party at their complex of gites about half an hour from here. It was brilliant to be able to pretend to be on holiday at a gite complex for a change! He had live music, the weather was superb, we had too much to drink and didn't want the night to end as then we had to come back to reality! Happy birthday Sheila, I really hope the top I bought you fits, just cut the bows off if you don't like them!

Back to bloody reality! As I'm writing this, the French people who are staying in the gites -9 in a house that sleeps 6 are welcoming yet another group of their friends onto the site. They were all four of them prepared for their day by the swimming pool. I daren't tell DH since it might give him a heart attack. They all go tomorrow, so I'm just ignoring it. He's still asleep, so he might not notice.

We have a whole new lot tomorrow - 7 gites to changeover. It fills me with delight to know that one of the new arrivals has sent me an email asking about a "dongle" - I had to look it up on the internet, I've never even heard of one! Dunno if I can get him one, but I sure can't wait to meet him - not! The weather forecast is for 35 degrees, stormy and thunderstorms in the evening - just as the little darlings get out of their cars! Can't wait!

Hey-ho!

As if all this isn't enough, and obviously it isn't, the "Flying Dutchman" turned up here Wednesday out of the blue. He just happened to be "in the area" - he lives 2 hours away. I haven't been wrong-footed like that since the last time he wrong-footed me! Maybe he thought it was impolite to drive on by - Mark, in the unlikely event that you are reading this, next time, just drive on by. I'm fussy about who I give coffee and beer to and DH hasn't got over the disappointment (and probably never will) - we're expecting the liquidators (or whatever it is in French) to be here by Christmas.

Better get on with sorting my bedlinen - we've got 27 beds to change tomorrow!

So, what are you doing today? My day can only get better (as soon as the hangover lifts - the tea ain't working!)

We're having too much of a good time - help!!

Well, why do you think the wine tasting last night didn't finish until 4 am? Working backwards, how, on a busy changeover day did we end up falling into bed at 2 am full of Pimms? Sunday, our coffee morning with all the new arrivals finished up with several bottles of champagne and a good part of a bottle of cognac (mixed together, if you please!) in the garden for the next SEVEN HOURS!

Our children, not to mention dogs and cats are being fed at odd hours (if anybody remembers - good job they're capable of getting their own! - at least the kids and cats are, poor long suffering Woody has to wait!)

Yes, those of you in the know may have realised, our very good friends (and customers) from Ireland are here. Good job it's only for a week, I'd be dead if it was any longer. Orange and lemonade for the rest of the season, I promise, God!
The culprits (this is a photo from last summer)

Another scorching day in prospect, and I'm dehydrated to begin with! At least it's good 'craich'!

Oh no! Not another hot and sunny changeover day!

That's what I thought yesterday morning when the temperature was already at 28 degrees at 9 am and we had a changeover day to do. Every Saturday (changeover day), virtually without exception since this season began has been roasting hot and sunny. Followed by cloud, cold winds and even (eek) rain on the Sunday morning.

Sometimes I think running a gite complex would be a doddle without the customers! I'll give you an example. Dr C and his family arrived last Saturday. They booked very last minute, as people seem to do more and more these days and as a result could only have a fortnight if he agreed to change gites halfway through. DH heard his wife, H, moaning to a fellow giteur (is that a word?) in the laundry room about having to move and lose a day of her holiday. DH, who can spot a need in anybody else in the world, except his nearest and dearest at about a mile distance, was quick to use his initiative and get me to contact Mrs W, who arrived yesterday, and ask her if she would go into a different gite and therefore save Dr C having to change. The gite was slightly bigger and we weren't going to charge any more, but we'd save with the cleaner - everyone's a winner!

Unfortunately, we didn't hear back from Mrs W (are you following this?) right away as she was away visiting family. Amazingly, when DH put the proposal to Dr C and his wife, they flew into a confrontational state and said that they'd paid (£30) for the new gite for the week and this proposal wasn't acceptable! He'd offered to refund the £30 but why argue? Poor bloke thought he was being helpful!

In the meantime, we hear back from Mrs W who said she'd be delighted to have the upgrade! Well, she would, wouldn't she?

All ended happily, believe it or not. Dr C hadn't been near the bar all week, but he was in there last night, with his wife and they were the life and soul. Turned out that the reason they wanted to change gites (but why was she moaning about it?) was that they were frightened of leaving their children in bed in the original gite (further away from the bar), in case anybody was kidnapped, or worse! Echoes of Madeleine.

Mrs W accepted that she wasn't going to get her upgrade, and is more than happy with "your" gite, Lesley (and Margo)!

Ain't life strange?

Yew Tree

Catalpa

The two gites in question - does this bring back happy memories?

A jolly good time was had by all

It's party time!

I've had my night's sleep (a decent one for once!) and shed my tears, and as Flylady says, you're only allowed to sulk for one twenty-four hour period and then after that you have to laugh at whatever it was that you're sulking about! Trouble is that my mum is now 76 and it's possible that one of her trips here might be the last time I see her, but I try not to dwell on that.

The time they were here last week went unbelievably fast - I always say that! I was panicking before they got here about how we'd fill the time and in the end we ran out of time before we ran out of things to do. We had our little trips out, to the "blue caravan" beach on the Atlantic Coast just past the zoo, as well as Les Antilles for Dear Daughter (11) 's birthday. A very small jewelry/fancy goods shop in Saujon was having a closing down sale and everything was reduced by 50%. It just so happened that we needed something for DS's girlfriend, DD's birthday and a present for my younger brother's girlfriend, so we were all 10 of us back in there three times on the same day! What a hoot!

Super U (the supermarket) did very well out of us as we had to shop every day, sometimes twice! My older brother thought he found a dead body in an old derelict house that he went to have a nosey around in but when he went back it had gone, so it couldn't have been that dead! Scared him to death!

My mum only had the one moody when we got lost in the maize field trying to find a short cut whilst walking the dog before we went to the pizzeria and even she managed to laugh at that the day after. The problem was that DH had insisted we were all in the car at 6.45 pm so we could be the first to be served when the pizzeria opened at 7pm (there seemed to be a mass disappearing act whenever food was ready or we were going out) and my mum doesn't like to be late. I also suspect she's a bit frightened of DH - no wonder, so am I!

The kids, of course, made everything happen. Aged between 11 (just) and 16 the five of them were here to have fun, and didn't they just! They camped out by a bonfire one night though I don't think they got much sleep. I still haven't got the smell out of the duvets and pillows they took outside! Anybody got any ideas?

An excellent time was had by all. As one wise person once said "Don't be sad because something is over, rather be happy that it happened at all".

Back to reality now, I've got a LOT of office backlog and an enormous changeover to get ready for on Saturday. As Mark Twain once said - the best way to get ahead is to make a start!

Have a nice day!

They've gone home - sob

Siblings of the same womb!

We have had ten/eleven - Dear Son's girlfriend came Saturday and hasn't gone home yet! - staying in our house for the past week. My mum, my two brothers (see pic), my nephews 13 and 15 with the five of us. They came last Monday, they stayed for a week, they ate, they drank, they made noise, they celebrated Dear Daughter (newly 11)'s birthday and in the end some of us cried. It was noisy, God, was it noisy. There was barely enough room around the massive table in the kitchen. They left this morning and I can hardly explain how much I miss them. This photo was taken this morning, the weather matches my mood. Silence - don't like silence.

Family reunion

Having a wonderful time, wish you were here! For the first time in five and a half years the whole of my family (mum, two brothers, two nephews and of course my own family) are all together in the same place. Big brother Michael lives in Salt Lake City and when he comes over to England for a visit, it's usually our busiest time, so we can't see each other. Glad to say he looks well, though a bit greyer than I remember him. We're all having a wonderful time together, talking about old family holidays and things that they remember and I don't (oh the self-centrednest of youth!) The kids are getting along really well and we are ten in the house - good job it's a big one!

Yesterday we went to the beach and wore ourselves out, today it's a rest day and Luna Park funfair tonight, to celebrate the end of Dear Son's (15) exams.

I'll try to get some photos and post them here.

Pickled!

Just think, if I was an alcoholic, this is as good as I'd ever feel! We've had a weekend of flowing alcohol, which is so rare nowadays that my liver's gone into shock. At leas that's how it feels. Saturday was the end of the rugby season party at the kids' and dh's rugby club. The punch was flowing freely and there wasn't enough solid food to soak it up. Never mind, thought I, as I hit the pillow around midnight (shock, horror) I've got all day tomorrow to get over it.

Sunday was Fathers Day, and DH, in a fit of sociability, invited the neighbours over for a barbecue. His day, his call! This time it was the champagne. I'm sure I had the odd glass of water to keep me on track, or maybe I dreamt it. They all left around 9 pm (from lunchtime) and then I watched Mama Mia on Sky, my absolute favourite film for a long time! I've been singing Abba songs in my sleep! Therefore, I didn't get to bed till 11 pm, still exceedingly tipsy even then.

All this is very well if you can sleep it all off, but I had to get up at 6 am as Dear Son (15) has his French Bacalaureat exam (4 hours, poor thing) and has to be at his desk at 7.45 am - that'll learn him! Dear Son (14) has school as usual so has to be out of the house by 7.15 am. So does Dear Daughter (10), but she starts at a more civilised 9 am, and even that's becoming more and more difficult. She's often eating her breakfast toast in the car on the way to school nowadays.

Only another ten days, then two months of rest and relaxation - oh, wait, that's when the summer visitors arrive - we don't have summers here - we have changeovers!

Today can only improve! Off to finish tidying the kitchen now, wish me luck!

Complete waste of time!

The clue is in the title!

Moving swiftly on, I've just started re-reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's over SEVENTY years since it was first published, and it's still in print! You can't beat it for good, honest psychology. Principle 1 is: ahem, "Don't criticise, condemn or complain." Apparently, if you do this, the other person is put on the defensive and will always try to justify themselves. I've decided to read one chapter every night, and then to really try and put the theories into practise, at least for the following day and see how I get on.

Well, this one has worked already. Dear Son (14) has been in trouble at school. One of his merry band, a lad called Andy, squirted an ink cartridge at the teacher as she was writing on the blackboard (who'd be a teacher?) and blamed Nick. Being his mother, I wasn't sure I believed this version of events, but I was summoned to telephone the teacher this morning and explain his behaviour. It was obvious I needed to know for sure how involved Nick was. My instinct was to start laying into his friend for getting him in trouble, but I remembered to listen to Dale - don't criticise, condemn or complain.

It was a stroke of genius! I just said that I was surprised that Andy had gotten him into trouble with the teacher, as I'd always thought he was a nice lad. That was it - full confession! If I'd spoken to the teacher not knowing that they had both been guilty as charged, I'd have felt a complete twit.

One long-ish conversation with the teacher later (in French, in case you're wondering - I adore my children at times like this!) it was decided that Dear Son would be PUT IN DETENTION FOR ONE HOUR! I tried to get him two hours (at least) but she said the stain had washed out and I was just being unreasonable, but would I please speak to him over the weekend and try to get him to GROW UP! Might take longer than a weekend then! He's also going to lose his mobile phone for a few days to give him chance to think, instead of constantly texting his friends. In my day, if anybody wanted to speak to me on the phone (forget texting - it didn't exist!) they had to speak to my dad first - that was enough to put anybody off!

Wonder what tonight's principle is?

Waiting for the viewers to arrive

.... and waiting, and waiting! It's a beautiful hot sunny day, but have I been near the pool, except to sweep around it? No! Why? Glad you asked! We had a phone call earlier in the week from a French agent (sorry, can't get the link to work) who had somebody to see the gites. First ones for weeks. We have been cleaning and tidying, scaring away spiders and sweeping up flies in the baths and shower trays as well as cherries that had fallen from the tree since 8 am this morning. They were due at 2.30pm. They called from Saujon at 3.30 pm (it's only ten minutes away!) and they've JUST pulled up on the (wrong) driveway now!

I'll let you know how I get on - hope springs eternal!

More later ...

How can it possibly be two weeks????

... since I last blogged? Where did the time go? Well, let's see, there was the "teaching" assignment I did last week at the lycée in Royan. Four hours of trying to get French kids to practise their English over two days passed the week on nicely! I'm talking about all the internet research on the TEFL websites to try and put together lesson plans. Loads of good material there, too much to trawl through really! Do you want to know what went down the best of all the stuff I got together? Well, I'll tell you, horoscopes. I printed off the horoscopes from the Daily Mirror website each morning and let them read their own out loud, and then those of their nearest and dearest. They absolutely loved it!

Second best was the pictures I hastily tore out of a magazine and got them to describe. Worst bit? I had the bright idea of spending 40 minutes or so on a current news article. Not a good week for news - the French plane crash, followed by the trial of the morons who murdered the French students, and if that's not current enough, there's always the snubbing of the queen about the 65th anniversary of the D-Day landings! I erred on the side of safe and decided on the Britain's Got Talent programme and Susan Boyle. Blank faces all round! They sort of recognised Simon Cowell! Talent competition - what's that? I bravely continued for about 5 minutes in this vein before deciding to .... move swiftly on ....

On the whole, they were lovely teenagers (16 - 18 years old, as it turned out!). They were a bit slow to warm up but once you got them talking, it was difficult to shut them up. Would I like to become a teacher? Not a chance! I stressed over this ordeal (sorry, meant to say assignment) to a point where I could hardly sleep nights! I felt like I'd survived an ordeal when it was over!

I now have to report back to the teacher (in French) about how it all went! Now that's a doddle!

I'm not panicking - yet!

As a sort of "payback" to the French government for providing us with free French lessons, (see Greta, here) I've been volunteered (with the rest of our class) to take a class of 14 year old's to practise their English with them next week. Because I'm a soft touch, I've "volunteered" twice and then found out that we have to give them a TWO HOUR English lesson! This is a first for me, so I'm racking my brains for activities this age group (I live with one, so I know what I'm dealing with!) won't find boring. My initiative is being stretched to the limits. I've got till Thursday morning and it might take till then to think of four times half hour activities. Help me God!

I promise I'll never take you for granted again! and food ramblings!

My internet connection, I mean! It's a bit unreliable at the moment, so when I can get it to work, I'm going as fast as I can. I've never been so focused, usually I just surf the web, browsing and looking at jobs to apply for, now I've got it down to a fine art - put the website address in, scan quickly, send the application or click to another page!

A lovely sight I saw today - the baby class at Dear Daughter (10)'s school had been on a trip out to a local farm, and they'd come back with a little present - every child (around 25 or so) had been given a punnet of fresh, new season strawberries! Some of them were eating them like sweets, passing them around the grown ups, they start to appreciate their food young in this country. I'll never forget when I went on a trip out with the maternelle when Dear Son (14) was in that class, and all the kids were given a picnic that included a hard boiled egg. They tucked in with a vengeance, I never saw 3 year old kids enjoy hard boiled eggs like that - without salt! It was a real eye-opener. Another time, Dear Son (15)'s friend, when aged about 4 was tucking into a bucket of whelks somebody had dropped off at his house. He had a pin in one hand and a frown of concentration as he picked the whelks out of their shells, and tucked in!

The closest I've ever come to that was at a recent rugby club bash when the bloke sitting next to me, 80 if a day, kept feeding me shellfish on a pin which tasted exactly like bogies. I tried not to think too much about what I was eating - three chews and a swallow, as my friend Alison says! Plenty of bread to get rid of the bits. I'm still not sure what I was eating - better not to know!

Have you seen Matthieu?

We had a bit of excitement yesterday tea time when two gendarmes (complete with guns) knocked on the door. Dear Daughter (10) - actually nearly 11, answered the door and they showed her a photograph of a boy aged around 14 and asked her if she knew him! You should have seen her little face! She came racing through (I was clearing the backlog of being without my internet connection) to tell me. When I arrived, Dear Son (14) was being questioned, as apparently he knew the little boy from school. It turned out that he lives in a foster home and the two boys were together at the weekend at a funfair in our local village (within a larger group). The boy who was missing, Matthieu, had won a cap gun and taken it to school where it had been confiscated by a teacher. He'd taken umbrage at this and run out of the classroom, jumped the (low) wall and hasn't been seen since. Apparently, he's run away three times this year already. Cry for help? Doesn't seem as if anybody's listening. I feel for his mother (although she's a useless article) as this must be a dreadful time for her. Dear Son (14) seems convinced he'll be back at school this morning. Kids - eh?

Oh, by the way, the technician left his tool bag behind and had to come back for it this morning at 7.30 am. Luckily, I get up early to get the kids off to school. Shows I'm not the only incompetent one out there!

Gotta get on, there are at least six jobs I want to apply for! Oh joy!

What a flippin palaver!

I've been forcibly evicted from blogland because I lost my internet connection almost a week ago following a power cut! Just at the worst possible time, I might add. "That" phone call never arrived (don't care - sniff!) but on top of that, we had a sudden rush of enquiries for the gites. I had to keep traipsing into town to use the computers in the library in Saujon. It costs €15 to join our local library - no wonder it's quiet down there - I expected it to be free - shows how behind the times I must be! Anyway, the technician came this afternoon (a day earlier than he said - good) so I'm busy catching up again - 600 messages in total, all but 37 of them spam! Good job I didn't get offered "the job" - what stress that would have been - it was bad enough, believe me!

One good thing - we were going to reduce the prices of the gites (again) but no need to now, I took 8 weeks bookings in the last two days! Don't understand why, but bring it on!

Here's a picture of the pool, so you know what you're missing!